stopthefiction

A quote from Janet Fitch's recent novel , Paint it Black . ". . . Thousands of people , all caught in profile , locked into their mobile fish tanks . Each face , each car , transporting grief , boredom , rage . Someone in one of these cars was contemplating murder . Someone , right now , in the privacy of his aquarium , threaded the beads of his suicide through his fingers , praying along the chain like a rosary . Someone begged for help from a God he didn't quite believe in , yet had no one else to appeal to . The rest thought only about dinner , tonight's episode of Dallas , the day's arguement with the boss . . ." it drives me crazy how

I slept so well this morning . I am sick of nightmares . Sick of being cold . Sick of feeling so undone . Last night when I woke maybe a little cold or scared of nothing there were arms and a whispered "I love you ." It was the most certain and consistent thing . I felt like with each breath I would hear that I was loved . -with each breath , I heard I was loved .- I still have a bad dream every once in a while . I still get so angry at myself for having those dreams . For letting it get to me . It's not like my life was nearly taken . It has happened so many times , why should this time make me upset ? My body is no longer anything sacred

"People are worth so much more than they sometimes believe ." Today it happened . (Technically) Thursday . 28 Feb 2008 . I felt it in my stomach and even my eyes . I felt it in my cheeks and even my lungs . It was well beautiful .   and I feel liberated . And I am about to get so fucking cheesy you will break . There are people I look up to . A specific woman in mind at the moment , she glows . She has so much light about her because even when she's down she knows why and she knows not to blame herself and hate herself and she is so alive . And I want to be that . I used to be . And I've never felt closer to it than I do right now . I